Karlita's Cave

Married!

2006-08-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

Been a little scarce lately, I know. That's cause I got married Saturday....! Now we're off to the honeymoon...pictures and other hilarity when we return!

The Worst Day Yet

2006-05-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

So, the countdown is on. I'm halfway through my last paper. I should probably have spent more time on it, but the teacher seems to hate me anyway, so I'm not putting that much effort into it. As long as I get a passing grade (B to earn grad credit) I'm going to be happy. As my mother has pointed out to me numerous times, anyone outside the academic establishment would be impressed with my grades, even though the professors act like they're giving me an F when I get an A-. Whatever.

So I must relate the worst teaching story ever. Thursday's classes really drove home the point that the entire semester seems to be pounding into me: GET OUT OF ACADEMIA!!!!

Thursday sucked more than usual, because after teaching my last class to one of my groups of ungrateful students, one of them came up to me when class was over and spent approximately 30 minutes telling me exactly why everyone in the class hates me. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that I'm not giving them all good grades, and that I refuse to "go to bat" for them with the Professor that is actually the instructor of record. Little wonder that I won't -- I agree with her policies and think that the student's refusal to deal with her on the subject of her grading policies is downright harassment. Mind you, this is a DIFFERENT student than the others that have been harassing me.

Even if I understand the underhanded motivations (bother the low-paid TA until she relents and gives you a higher grade) I can't help but feel hurt by some of the things this girl said to me. I'm proud of myself for standing my ground and not crying in front of her, but I have to say, I did cry when I got home, and she took the joy out of all my other last classes. All I know is that I'm finally done with this batch of students. Other than administering the exam and grading said exams, they are gone from my life forever. I'm sick of them and cannot bear the thought of ever doing anything for those students again, which goes against everything I think I should believe about student-teacher relationships.

I see now why so many high school and middle school teachers in this country get burnt out and just give up -- my kids are only one year removed from high school (sometimes less) and they have such a sense of entitlement -- they will take and take and take from you and the same time you are giving, they will criticize you for the way you do it, and how little you give them. I can honestly say I've put in about 20 hours a week for this one class this semester with grading, prep and teaching time combined, which leaves me very little for my own projects. I've spent more than $200 of my own money for our class festival, and I've never heard anything except complaining from these students. Maybe I got spoiled teaching immigrants English: At the end of every semester, the students would get me a card and sign it, and sometimes they'd even get me flowers. I understand it's a cultural thing, but perhaps instead of just dismissing it that way, I'd love to be able to understand why teachers are continually disregarded and disrespected in this country.

That was my little rant. On the positive side, I am so close to the end of this semester I can feel it. Tomorrow night at 7:30, I hope to be sitting in the Mexican restaurant near our house drinking a VERY LARGE margarita. Six more pages to write, and another exam to give and grade...and then I have at least a week's vacation to look forward to before I really start stressing about not having a job.

Proof

2006-05-04T06:42:00.000-07:00

I finally got proof today that
a) I am not a bad teacher, despite what my students tell me all day.
b) My students are not stupid, they are just lazy.

How did I get such proof, you ask?

Last week's exam was the easiest yet, in my opinion. We keep making the tests easier and easier, because the students do worse and worse. We wondered if maybe we had bad perception of what "easy" was. I also was beginning to doubt myself as I graded D and F after D and F. But then I was vindicated, in a wonderful way. One of my international students, someone who speaks English as a foreign language (and not a Russian student who grew up with the material, but a Japanese student who has to learn Russian words in a class mostly in English) Received an almost perfect score on both sections of the test.

Why do I feel vindicated? Because he is in the class I feel the least comfortable with. I constantly worry that that particular class is not receiving my best teaching, since it happens at the end of a long day, immediately after one of my own seminar classes. I'm usually wiped out, and I worry that I don't communicate as well to them. Plus, that class, out of all of them, gives me a lot of attitude. Double Whammy. So, nothing made me feel better than to give this student, who is at a double disadvantage (and who I don't think I've ever heard speak in the classroom) the best grade in all my classes.

So there, my dear students -- it's not me, it's you -- I AM giving you the material, and in such a way that a student at a disadvantage in my classroom can understand, apprehend and remember.

It's all sparkly and shit...

2006-04-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

Chris got the bands today for my wedding ring. This is what I'll have on my finger after the wedding. Holy crap, it's sparkly!

"I love the smell of freshly burnt students in the morning"

2006-04-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

Conversations at our house:

Me: I'm sick of grading papers. It makes me want to burn them!

Chris: MMMM.... I love the smell of freshly burnt students in the morning.

Me: Not the students, the papers! I'm not that mean! Although....

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

2006-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Last week I hit a giant wall, one which told me the answer to the question I've been agonizing over for almost a year now. To stay or not to stay (in school). Last Monday's meeting with my thesis advisor told me that I really can't deal with it any longer. My advisor told me that it wasn't "useful" to her to be reading what I'm producing. I wanted to be sarcastic and say something to the effect of, "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you were supposed to be helping me." However, I held my tongue. Honestly, nothing these last two years has really gone right or well for me. Seems like I'm always banging my head up against the administration or professors or otherwise being discouraged around every corner. I think perhaps this lifestyle is not for me.

Since I had my moment of clarity, though, I have felt much lighter. Of course, I'm not doing much work, which could have something to do with it -- I've been doing the absolute minimum to pass my classes. My grades are so good that anyone outside academia will be impressed when they see my 3.9 average. It's only the assholes at school that think that means I'm not smart enough. Even if i pull a few A minuses this semester, I'm not going to freak out about it.

The only fly in the ointment at this point is the last three weeks of school, and the fact that I have another thesis meeting on friday, for which I've done absolutely nothing since the last one. Honestly, I'm not motivated to work to impress someone I don't respect, or on a project that I have a whole year to complete. I am going to have a talk with her this week and just tell her that I'm not going to have time to work on it any more during the next few weeks, and that we can discuss the project again via email or again in the fall, when the deadline looms a little closer.

So, on to the frivolity:

The picture looks really bizarre, almost like an ad of some sort. However, I swear, I didn't put the cat in the microwave. Our semi-built-in microwave went haywire yesterday, and so we brought Chris' old micro down from the attic. We opened it on the counter to clean it out, and Dmitri just jumped right into it from the floor. I'm sure he thought it was some glorified box (he absolutely adores boxes!). He settled right in and we took the pictures. Don't worry -- we didn't shut it all the way, and it wasn't plugged in yet!

Tired

2006-04-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

I am Tired.

Tired of teaching.

Tired of students.

Tired of being a student.

Tired of studying.

Tired of professors who don't know how to give positive feedback.

Tired of working so damn hard.

I can't wait for May 9.

Psycho Student, Part 256

2006-04-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

I've been dying to blog about what's been going on at school, but I've had this vauge fear that the post would be discovered. I'm going to throw caution to the wind, cause it's just too good to keep to myself.

So my colleague, a fellow TA, has had this psycho student in her class. The student suggested her own version of an assigned project, one that required much less work and didn't even fit the guidelines of the original project. Without giving out too much information, our department is planning a cultural festival, for which the students (in place of taking one of the tests) can participate in the planning of the event and work some of the booths. However, they also have to write a short (2.5 page, double spaced) paper, tying the festival in with the class work. Not hard at all. This student wanted to come, sing some songs that had nothing to do with what we were doing, and forgo the paper, because it would be too hard to write a paper tying in the songs (which again, had nothing to do with the class) in with the class material. So, SHOCKER, my colleague denied her request. However, she took the same request to the instructor of record (we're just measly TAs, so final decisions are up to the Instructor) and ommitted the part about how the songs don't tie in, and about how she wanted to omit the paper. So of course, the Instructor said she would be delighted to have this student sing, and only later found out that what the student was proposing didn't fit the guidelines for the project.

Since then, this student has written daily emails to my colleague and to the instructor, bitching about how unfair it is, and how she just wants to participate, etc., etc., etc. , and why can't we give her credit for being enthusiastic about the material/class/etc. She sends emails with BULLET POINTS. She's also been stirring up dissent among the students that some others have come in to complain about her. Not only that, she refuses to switch classes (there are 8 different times the class is offered) in order to work with someone else, either the Instructor or myself. She also refuses to do individual meetings with the instructor in lieu of classroom time (quote: "because the other students might say something interesting"). Long story short, my colleague couldn't deal with it any longer, so we've gone so far as to SWITCH TEACHERS!!! Yes, as of this week, the psycho student is mine.

I haven't had class with her yet, and I've already received 3 long (probably 2+ pages each) emails from the woman this morning, asking me basically the same stuff and trying to get me to approve her bogus project and/or say bad things about the other teachers, which I won't do. Each time, I refer her back to the instructor, trying not to get involved in her little dispute, and each time she writes back with a longer and more annoying set of questions.

Oi! I'm really not looking forward to the class this afternoon!!!

Can't we just PRETEND I turned in a Thesis?

2006-03-31T10:13:00.000-08:00

I honestly wish I could ask this. I've spent the last five days avoiding, working around (but not on) and downright denying the existence of my thesis.

I'm interested in the topic, really I am. Having trouble with a concise title, otherwise I'd reiterate it here.

I. just. don't. want. to. WRITE!

Update

2006-03-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

So, last week I lost 6.6 pounds on my diet. Yay for me! Feels good, but I'm feeling hungry today. Day 10. Woohoo! I'd be more excited right now if I had a pint of Ben & Jerry's in front of me right now.

Anyway, I'm starting to look for jobs for the following year -- my brilliant idea of taking a year off to work in the "real world" in order to pay off some of our mounting debt is sort of starting to seem like a bad one. I'm realizing that I have lots of education, lots of random experience, but nothing that really adds up to a "real" job, basically leaving me exactly where I ended up right before starting grad school. Yay! I can be a secretary! Unfortunately, my ability to manage, grade, evaluate, etc. up to 100 students each semester means nothing in the corporate world, since it doesn't amount to the experience in a "similar position." How do people ever get jobs, anyway, if all the managerial jobs require experience being a manager?

Dammit.

I Like You!

2006-03-22T07:13:00.000-08:00

I really do!

No, Really!

3 Question Personality test

2006-03-20T16:20:00.000-08:00

Stolen from Sylvana:

Pretty darn accurate if you ask me!

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.
You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.
You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.
In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.
At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.
With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.
As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.
On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The'>http://www.blogthings.com/threequestionpersonalitytest/">The Three Question Personality Test

Diet, Day 2

2006-03-20T15:58:00.000-08:00

Doing well...but I have a question for you all...

Why is it that when we deny ourselves something....it's the only thing we can think about?

Diet, Day 1

2006-03-19T18:38:00.000-08:00

My mom and I joined Jenny Craig this weekend together. I used to work there (8+ years ago) as a consultant, so I knew the program worked. I also knew that it was structured enough for me to follow while I am in school. It tells you what to eat and when to eat it, which takes out the guess-work for the first half of your weight loss (at halfway, we go half/half and plan half our own meals) which I think will take me through the end of the school year. I won't repeat the horrible, horrible number on this blog, but my weigh-in on Saturday put me at 7 pounds heavier than my highest weight ever. I knew it was bad, but was still somewhat in denial.

Anyway, I feel *pretty good* today. Kinda hungry, craving sweets and stuff...but all in all, I feel mostly satisfied -- the diet calls for lots of fiber and lots of salads/vegetables/fruits to supplement just about every meal. I am hoping that it will help me (re) form some healthy habits that have fallen by the wayside in the last few months. Graduate school is hell on the body.

Anyway, they have me on the 1500 calorie plan, which (I'm guessing) is probably half what I used to consume in a day.... I set my sights way low, thinking that it would be great if I could get it all off. Only real concern is the wedding dress...I hope we don't have to take too many inches out of it, since I don't know how it will turn out if we do!!!

I'll keep you guys updated. Hoping for a big loss this first week (all my clients used to have tremendous success the first week because of the water weight that comes off from a low-sodium diet). They said I should expect a 1-2% loss of total body weight each week...which for me means 2-4 pounds per week! I'm hoping for the upper range!

Wish me luck....

Update

2006-03-16T11:12:00.000-08:00

So, I guess yesterday's test was a false alarm. I went in this morning to the health center to get the blood test (100% accurate) and get the good old referral letter to an OB-GYN....

And the test came back negative. Talk about getting yourself all worked up over nothing.

The good news is that it helped us figure out where we're at on this whole baby thing....which is to say, we can live with it if it happens...

And then life takes one turn a little too quickly...

2006-03-15T23:37:00.000-08:00

and things change in a moment.

Maybe I should have titled this post "I'm pregnant."

Yup, you heard me. Preggers. At least according to the EPT I took this evening...we'll get the final word tomorrow (or Friday?) when I can get in to the doctor and get the "real" test. But I'm pretty sure that test wasn't wrong. Just suddenly had a flash on Wednesday night and thought "I think I'm pregnant, maybe I better take a test to prove to myself I shouldn't be drinking coffee anymore." They say you know, but this was a little creepy.

Not that this news is a bad thing, but it is a bit unexpected (early). I have a tiny bit of insomnia right now (can't believe Chris is actually sleeping!) but I'm at least getting some work done. This calls into question a whole host of issues: will my wedding dress fit in August? How will I find a job? How will the uber-religious half of my family take the news? We better hurry and get a house! And some bills paid off! I'm starting to feel a bit crazy, like Timothy Treadwell. But just a tiny bit. I promise I won't try to go live with any bears.

Lost Wages and Ghost Towns

2006-03-09T07:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I didn't actually lose any wages (unless you count the multiple trips to Starbucks) and there weren't any actual "ghosts" in the ghost town, but I'm a sucker for a good title. In fact, I think most of my papers have better titles than they do content, but that's another story....

I spent the weekend in Las Vegas with Shannon and Chris, coffee-addicts extraordinaires. I think I still have a coffee buzz (or maybe it's yesterday's two trips to the coffee empire). It was by far the best weekend I've had in a long time, marked by good food (Mediterrainian, Burgers and yummy Italian) and great company. We went to the world's largest souvenir store and bought some great dice bracelets for my sister, which she loved. We wandered the strip for a bit while Shannon taught her class, possibly covering the most ground in the least amount of time since we didn't stop anywhere to gamble.

Sunday was by far the best, though. On our way to Valley of Fire State Park, we saw Jesus:

Then, Valley of Fire State Park,

Where we saw some neat hieroglyphics:

We were so happy we decided to dance:

We then went for a hike in the place formerly known as Lake Mead. Apparently, in the 30s, a small town named St. Thomas was flooded. You can see pictures of what it used to look like here. Click on the pics in the right margin to make them bigger. As the daughter of an architect, I had a great time playing amateur archeologist/architect and trying to guess what foundations had been which structures in their former lives. I was definitely wrong about the schoolhouse: I guessed it was the church. We were correct about most of the other buildings, though. Most of the residences were easy, and we decided that the ice cream parlor was a general store (not too far off if you ask me, since we could tell it was some sort of public establishment).

All in all, a VERY satisfying weekend!

Sick Day

2006-02-27T09:43:00.000-08:00

I took a sick day today. I'm feeling a *little* better, but still tied to my box of kleenex. I feel a marginal amount of guilt in that I could probably have powered through and come home exhausted later today, leading to more exhausted days later this week, but I really wanted to be feeling better for my trip to see Shannon on Friday!

I wish the concept of the sick WEEK was in vogue like it seemed to be in Russia....

Cat in a Box

2006-02-26T11:14:00.000-08:00

Here's an entertaining video of my cat, Dmitri (a.k.a. "D," "Mr. D," "D-Mon," "Devil-cat" and "Dork").

I'd like to point out that he willingly submits to this torture and could jump out of the box and run away any time he likes, which you'll note, he doesn't. I think he likes it, to be honest. Sometimes he jumps into the box and meows at Chris as he walks by.

Never-Ending Snot

2006-02-26T11:09:00.000-08:00

I have been sick since about Tuesday with some nasty cold thingie. I feel MOSTLY fine, except I've lost my voice and my nose seems to be filled with a never-ending river of snot. They showed Ghostbusters II on TV yesterday, and I emphatized with that river of slime flowing beneath the city.

I've already decided to take a sick day on Monday if I'm not feeling better when I wake up since Mondays are my only negotiable day. Yay, Sick days!

I'm really hoping Chris doesn't start feeling it just as we are getting ready to go out to Vegas... (if he gets it at all...that boy had an immune system like a horse!)

Welcome to the 21st Century

2006-02-24T18:57:00.000-08:00

Holy DSL, baby!

I have just checked all my email accounts, read all my usual blogs, all in the time it takes me to usually load up one webpage.

Why have we waited so long? Maybe this will improve my blogging frequency!

Maybe not...we're also getting cable TV on Monday...a first (in my whole life) for both of us. But the deal we got through Qwest was so good, we are spending about the same on both of those things as we used to spend just on Dialup. Wow.

Apparently, I'm Hitler.

2006-02-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm sure my students will be relieved.... Who knows, Maybe they already figured it out!

You can take the test here.

However, I went back and changed just one or two answers (by making some statements a little stronger) and came out as JFK. Are the two really that similar?

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

A Quick update

2006-02-22T07:21:00.000-08:00

Once again, it’s been way too long since I posted. How ‘bout a quick update?

I’ve gotten most of my wedding planning done. I just need to book the bartender and most of my booking related projects will be finished. We have booked the site, our officiant, a DJ, a photographer, a caterer (perhaps I will post the menu next time for you to drool over), I’ve purchased my dress and picked out bridesmaids’ dresses and tuxes. We even have some of the decor done. Oh yes, and there’s a horse and carriage. I’m really not that much of a princess, my mom saw them at a bridal show and decided it would be the perfect solution to having my slightly handicapped grandparents taken from the lodge to the chapel. Though it’s really not far (3-5 mins walking?) They aren’t used to the altitude and the horse and carriage were not that expensive.
I’m full swing into my semester. Wacky student story: My fellow TA allowed a student to do a make-up assignment since she was going to be out of town for class on a certain Friday. Said TA saw the student at a Mexican restaurant that same Friday night. Student insists that “it wasn’t me.”
We are planning a maslenitsa celebration at school. We’re doing it later in the semester (not next week, as next week is the true maslenitsa celebration) because our american students are wimpy and they don’t want to be outside in the cold, even if it means eating lots of fun blini and playing games. Dorks. It will be fun anyway. Everyone should come and participate in our blini-eating contest.
My cat has become huge. Dmitri has come a long way from being malnourished from his vegetarian diet. He is growing a nice, healthy cat belly. Here he is playing "fetch." He stole the green bunny from Chris -- it was an "Easter" bunny given to Chris by his parents. (The bunny is roughly the size he used to be when we got him.

Chris and I are finally joining the 21st century and having cable and Wireless internet installed this Friday. Maybe it will make uploading pictures to my blog easier (that one took about 15 minutes on dial-up). Bye-bye productivity! But at least it will keep Chris happy when paper time rolls around, and we won't ever have to worry about waiting for the other to finish with the internet...
Oh yes, and I still love my new car, even though it makes me feel poor!

I Finally Caved...

2006-01-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

I got a new car this weekend. Saying goodbye to my old car, a 94 Nissan Sentra that has served me well for the last 12 years, made me a little bit sad, but it was time. The old girl refused to drive a reasonable speed up the hill that we have to drive every day of our obnoxious commute. I was facing Emissions testing next month and (most likely) a failed catalytic converter.

So I went in for a test drive, but haggled myself a good enough deal that I went home with a new car, the 2006 Elantra GT in Electric blue (I think they use the name "tidal wave"). So far, I'm happy with it -- the engine has some nice pick-up and it runs so quietly I wonder sometimes if it is even on. It came with a 10 year warranty, so I'm hoping it will be around as long as my old car was -- at least 10 years.... Not only that, it's a bit roomier than my other car, the A/C and heater work (the other car decided it would only allow them to work in the HIGH position, not in the low position) and I no longer breathe sulfer-smelling fumes every time I accelorate. Oh, and there's some sexy leather interior and a kick-ass stero system.

The next few months will be tough financially, but I am justifying it with the fact that I probably would have had to pay at least the same amount in repairs that I'm paying in payments (if not more). Plus it was demoralizing to keep working so hard just to keep up the same old car that I was planning on trading in next year. This makes me feel at least like I'm scrimping and saving to improve my situation.

Useless Feedback

2006-01-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

I have received some useless comments/feedback in my time as a TA. Things like "give us less work," "eliminate tests," "eliminate term papers" and "eliminate attendance requirement." I've gotten better at giving the students instructions on how to fill out the forms to better help me (i.e. "Please don't comment on my appearance or tell me to lighten the work load. If you don't like a specific reading or assignment, state which one and really justify it. Give concrete examples instead of broad statements. Comments on my teaching style or things I could have done better are particularly useful"). I tell them that I take the comments seriously and that if they had an issue with something like my grading policies, they should see me about those grades so that we can discuss them, rather than just telling me that their grades weren't fair on a form I won't see until long after their grades were written in stone (or whatever it is that they print transcripts on these days).

I guess I'm not good enough at dodging the inane bullets yet. I got my FCQs (Faculty Course Questionaire) back today and received the most useless comment ever on it:

Question: The least effective aspects of this course were:
Response: "The use of the chaulkboard to relate specific ideas."

Besides the fact that this student misspelled "chalkboard," this comment is useless on a lot of levels because it does not actually tell me what it was that I did that the student did not like. I was not aware that chalkboards could be misused in a classroom (unless we're thinking of the violence we could do to students with it). Nor was I aware that my actual use of the chalkboard was so terrible as to warrant a "C" rating as an instructor (this is what I assume, since it is the only thing the student mentioned could be improved). Should I have used it more? less? Was my handwriting illegible? too small? Or were the ideas too specific? Were the ideas bad? Perhaps I missed the prerequisites for teaching, "Blackboards 101" and "Chalk for idiots."

Anyway, I rarely use the chalkboard when teaching literature. Grammar or ESL, yes, I use it constantly, in order to present grammatical formulas or to link my pronunciation with something a student might already recognize in print, since ESL (or any foreign language) has so many components that are crucial for a student who wishes to master the big four skills (Reading, Writing, Speaking and Listening). The board is a useful tool in these kinds of classes with more structure.

However, in the literature/culture classes I'm currently teaching, we rely heavily upon discussion and on the students drawing connections between the literature and their primary (historical) text. In other words, there is no "right" answer (though certainly a few wrong ones) and I find that the board slows down the production of ideas and student participation -- writing down what they have to say about the work eats up class time and breaks up the flow of the discussion.

Therefore, I use the board only when I'm clarifying spelling (Dostoevsky is spelled with a "y" and not an "i" and "Kulak" is the Russian word for rich peasant) giving specific dates they need for their test or doing a designated brainstorming activity (on the first day -- "Tell me what Culture is" or "List all the stereotypes you can think of that concern Russia" or "What kind of Stereotypes do you think people in other countries have about Americans?") .

Tell me, how exactly should I (not?) be utilizing the board?

Back from a Blogger Vacation

2006-01-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

So, I intended my winter break to be a time to catch up on all sorts of things. In some respects, I actually achieved my goal. However, I didn't think anyone would be interested in reading about how I paid my bills on time last month...cleaned the house...found dustbunnies the size of real bunnies in that cavity between the toilet and the wall that you can't see unless you try....

Basically, I took care of mundane shit, and I liked it.

Today was the second back in the "real" world (if you can call graduate school the "real" world) and I have a few random thoughts to share:

1) I love listening to the Russians in my department speak to each other. Quick Russian with random English words thrown in. Guess Russian's have no equivalent for "Worker's Compensation" or "Rec Center." I know that we used to do this when we lived in Russia, sprinkling our English conversations with random Russian words -- now I truly understand why Russians thought it was so funny!

2) Is it just me, or does Fox overpromote American Idol. Since when do things that happen on American Idol premiers constitute news that should be repeated at 9pm and then again the next morning on the morning news?

3) Planning a wedding is annoying. People are way too hyper about some things -- mostly it's the wedding coordinator/site coordinator types that make me wish I were eloping. They must deal with some psycho individuals to treat me like this...

The last five pages are always the hardest...

2005-12-07T20:04:00.000-08:00

I'm down to the last five pages. Tomorrow is the last day of classes, and I have a 5 minute presentation in to do in Spanish and a 20 page paper with an hour-long presentation to do in my class on Women in 20th century Russia. Of course, I was brilliant when I chose my topic and chose something the class wasn't reading to write on, so I had to prepare a slightly modified topic for presentation so that I don't have to endure a lot of sighing from the undergraduates in the class, who would doubtless have been irritated to listen to something "irrelevant."

Knocked out the presentation and most of the paper, but those last five pages just aren't ready to come out yet, even though I already know what should fill them. I think it all comes down to an aversion to writing conclusions. I hate the idea of repeating myself, and I think I hate attempting to sum up all the stuff I've written in general.

I'm saving the Spanish presentation for tomorrow morning so I can attack it with a fresh brain. The idea is also that I won't mix my Russian and my Spanish. Russian tonight, Spanish tomorrow.

Of course, I could be writing now, but felt that writing a few paragraphs for my blog instead. If anyone is interested, the topic of my paper is Folklore and "Fairy Tales as access to a 'Bisexual' Identity: Lydia Zinovieva-Annibal’s 'The Centaur-Princess.'"

Oh, and everyone should read Lydia Zinovieva-Annibal's book, The Tragic Menagerie. It's a beautiful collection of short stories written in turn of the century Russia about coming of age and coming to terms with the cycle of life.

Thank God I Don't Teach Til Tomorrow.

2005-12-01T11:57:00.000-08:00

Wow. I really hate the last two weeks of each semester. Not only am I trying to grade quizzes and term papers and prepare student grades, but in the next 7 days I have: 3 presentations, and one 20 page paper to do. I had 5 hours of sleep last night, which tends to make me a little loopy.

Granted, one of my presentations is in an hour so I won't be working on that in the next 7 days anymore (but I am experiencing stress worrying about if I can avoid cackling like a mental institution patient during the course of it). Thankfully, I'm prepared for it, but as I'm drinking my super-sized Starbuck's mocha this morning, my pants ripped!

I think I've had these black slacks for...at least 5 years, not sure. They're comfortable, they look nice...I forget that they're wearing a little thin near the inner seam. Today they split -- not just along the seam, but horizontally -- about 4 inches below my crotch, I have a4-6 inch horizontal hole, moving back toward my ass.

I don't think I'll be turning my back to write on the board during the presentation....

Wal-Mart

2005-11-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

For more on the Wal-Mart Debate, you should also check out Shannon's blog.

I'd love to go into detail right now, but seeing how I have 3 presentations and one 20 page paper that I haven't started all due in the next week, I really shouldn't even be blogging at all.

However, the good folks at ourfuture.org are paying to have a giant billboard put up outside the headquarters of Wal-Mart. You can vote on the slogans here. There's also a movie you should all see. I haven't yet, but plan to after I finish this insane semester.

The Muppets

2005-11-22T12:30:00.000-08:00

I have always loved the muppets. When I was a small child, I had a fatal crush on Kermit the Frog. He was my hero... I spent hours listening to my recording of the Frog Prince (yes, on Vinyl) until I knew it by heart. I had Kermit's ceramic christmas ornament with bells, as well as Kermit and Robin stuffed animals. Kermit had velcro on his feet and I could wear him around my body like a monkey. I was even so committed to my infatuation that I refused to play with my Miss Piggy doll ever again after seeing her throw Kermit across the room during his bout of amnesia in The Muppets Take Manhattan.

I found out today that Disney is releasing season one of The Muppet Show. I am SO conflicted. I love the fact that Muppet stuff is becoming available, and that I might someday be able to share the joy of their antics with my future kids...

But I am also not sure I want to support the giant empire that is Disney...and the so-called "family values" that come along with it.

If I ask someone to get it for me as a gift, does that count as ME supporting Disney?

We're Calling him Dimitri

2005-11-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

So, here he is. I haven't downloaded any of them from my camera yet, but this is baby Dimitri's picture from the shelter. The shelter opened about 2 weeks ago, practically across the street from our house. We took it as a sign. Plus, Chris loves cats...

We decided on Dimitri, because it sounds like a smart name, I can call him all sorts of funny Russian derivatives (Dima, Dimochka) and Chris likes it because (apparently) Dima sounds like "Dimock" which means something like "Touch of Death" in Chinese. So, we're all happy.

He's a little thinner now than he is in this picture, because the first (foster?) family that had him brought him back -- they were feeding him an all-vegetarian diet, and he got severely underweight. (Don't ask me what possessed these people to do so -- kittens have pointy teeth and kitten food has meat in it for a reason....).

Anyway, he's a great cat -- very adventurous, smart and has a motor in him that won't quit (although his mews are quiet to the point I think he might have something up with his voice box). He's a big lover, but definitely has a mischievious side... Today is his first afternoon alone in the house while I'm at school and Chris is at work. Let's hope he doesn't destroy the place!

New Kitten

2005-11-20T08:51:00.000-08:00

Holy Crap, we got a cat! He is a 2 month old brown and black tabby with the requisite white face, chest, and paws. He came with the name "Melvin" but we're not sure if we'll keep it, shorten it to "Mel" or just call him "Motor." Chris also thought of calling him "Fish," but I don't think it fits him. He's so freakin' cute it's hard to concentrate on the 40 pages of stuff I should be writing. Pictures coming soon.

By the way, Elizabeth suggested that I write more about my degree and work. I have a few issues with that: 1) I really doubt that anybody wants to read my critiques of lit. crit. There's a reason that we have only 20 or so people in our discipline in the entire university (and why nobody I know ever knows what "Comparative Literature" is; 2) writing reviews of lit. crit. seems too much like work, and blogging is a celebrated procrastinator's hobby. I'll try to accomodate if I find something especially interesting, but for now, all I can say is: Hoorah for the end of the semester! Can't wait to be done with this round of papers....

ILL Mitch

2005-11-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

I couldn't stop laughing at this site. Not only is it a wealth of amusement for any ESL teacher, but anyone who lived in the former USSR should get a kick out of it as well.

Don't forget to check out his song "lyris" and the FUN section. You can even buy ILL Mitch t-shirts (but some of them are "selled out").

Various Updates

2005-11-09T07:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've neglected my blog. I know this. Following are my excuses:

1. I've been busy with the 30 day yoga challenge at my local Bikram Yoga. Basically that means a commitment to go 6 days a week for 30 days. I'm a few days behind, which means I might have to go twice a day two days this week, but the reward for completing it (other than self-satisfaction) is a month of yoga for 30 bucks! I could certainly use that.

2. I've been busy booking our wedding site. We definitely decided on Beaver Ranch, despite the obvious jokes that come with getting married at any place with "beaver" in the name. Here are some piccies. We hope it won't be snowing when the time comes. Isn't Chris' snowman cute, though? (Yes, I set up ANOTHER blog, because sending pictures via email is harder on dialup than uploading them to a blog, and we have an out-of-state officiant).

3. I've been watching the squirrels devour our pumpkins. They ate the other two entirely, and my mom brought over 2 more uncarved pumpkins, which in just a few days they've done a lot of damage to. I cut a hole in one, and here's a fat little devil munching on some seeds:

2005-11-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

It's a bit blurry, but here you can see one fat little squirrel making a mess on our front porch with the pumpkin my mom brought for them.

Playing Hookey

2005-11-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to play hookey today. I have so much to do, and going to campus for a Spanish class and to listen to a lecture that I've heard already twice . I have to sit in on the big lecture for the class I TA for in order to give students an opportunity to find me and to just know what was said. However, I just don't feel like going today when I know I could get a ton of stuff done here at home (like grading a mountain of papers, quizzes, oh yes... and not to mention my OWN homework).

I just need an excuse. Am I "sick" or should I tell the professor I TA for what's really going on?

Russian Yoga

2005-11-07T19:00:00.000-08:00

My fiance, Chris, directed me to this page.

Although I'm not sure if I should just laugh or feel somewhat sad or angry at this picture, either way, I do appreciate the humor, and do think it's pretty darn funny.

The Russian at the top is basically an embellished translation of the English in the first picture. Between the pictures, it says "We can get this kind of strength in a half an hour."

Evil, Flesh-eating Squirrels

2005-10-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, so squirrels are eating the flesh of pumkins, but I'm trying to get you in the spirit of Halloween!

Pictures, below, I believe are self-explanatory!

2005-10-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

Help!

2005-10-15T17:08:00.001-07:00

oh no! Squirrels are eating our faces!

2005-10-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

The pumpkins in their original state

Wonder Vitamins

2005-10-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

I have about a million papers to grade (ok, only 200) so I decided to blog instead of grading them.

So, my fiance works for an amazing skin care company, Sanitas. I have had chronic eczema sincce I can remember, and the occasional unpleasant Acne outbreak. Their products are simply amazing, and I've been accused more than once of being with him for the free product. So the newest product that I've tried are these "complexion clear vitamins." Tons of B vitamins and other things for liver support, which is apparently the cause of eczema -- something no doctor has ever bothered to tell me.

Need I say that they're awesome? The first few days were full of strange bathroom experiences (lots of gas, BMs and highlighter-yellow pee) as my liver cleaned itself out. By day 4, my eczema and rough skin has completely disappeared, along with any trace of depression, sleepiness or anxiety. Seems like the liver must be a pretty damn important organ. (I knew that, but this whole thing drives it home).

Yay! I feel awesome!

Corpse Bride

2005-10-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, Chris and I went to see Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I have been really excited to see it since last fall, when I read the info on Tim Burton's site, which says this:

"The Corpse Bride is a story based on actual events that occurred in 19th century Russia, at a time when anti-semitism was widespread in eastern Europe. Very often bands of anti-semites would waylay a Jewish wedding party on their way to the wedding. And because the bride would be the one to bear future generations, she would be ripped out of the carriage and murdered.
She would then be buried in her wedding gown."

All in all, not a bad film, though I was disappointed that the film plays down this historical precedent or Jewish religion, which served as Burton's inspiration (instead, the story is Christianized and the murder is blamed on a money-hungry man who robs the young woman and leaves her for dead, never mentioning the cultural practice). I was also hoping for some interesting material for the Fairy Tales class I teach. Burton's website turns out to be more informative than the film, though, and much MUCH more informative than Warner Brothers' website.

Blame it on our propensity to make things saccharine-sweet for our children in this culture.

2005-10-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Shannon --

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

My Meme:

"The porch is (maybe) twice the size of your average apartment balcony -- 8 feet by 8 feet, give or take a little." from my post on April 2, 2005 titled "Taking Responsibility for your animals." (update on that post -- the dog died over the summer, leaving only one, who now howls from lonliness all day).

Lame!

Since I'm not sure what my readership consists of (other than the illustrious Shannon -- if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!
(But Dale, if you're reading this -- Tag!)

If You're a Slacker and you know it, clap your hands!

2005-10-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

*clap clap!*

Aristotle was a pretty smart guy....

2005-09-28T19:11:00.000-07:00

Aristotle was definitely a pretty smart guy. I've been working on reading his On Rhetoric. In his treatise on emotion, he basically tells us that if you change the thought, you can change the emotion. Of course he was talking about how to influence your listener....

However, I've been thinking about the consequences for my everyday life. Change the goal, change your thoughts about the goal (or the process) and you can change how you feel about it.

I've been trying to do this all day, and it seems to be working. For example, think of the workout as a punishment for being fat, you're going to hate it. However, think of it as a two hour break from studying, and it becomes a treat. Its just one example, and I'm sure it will take some time to affect real changes in my attitude, but I'm committed to giving this method my best shot!

What Kind of Disease are you?

2005-09-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

What kind of disease are you?

Karla:

Karla is caused by sponges.

Karla disease causes a constant lack of clothing.
To cure Karla, build a lemur colony in your bathroom.

And if we combine this with my middle name...

What kind of disease are you?

allison:

allison is caused by monkeys.

allison disease causes excessive cross-sex cosplaying.
To cure allison, listen to every album by the Beatles, backwards.

Stolen from my friend Dale.

2005-09-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I updated. Nothing much new, although I think I am going to stick out my Master's degree to the end. Giving it up made me feel like I was giving up one of my goals, even though I'm pretty reconciled that I won't be doing much with it in the future. I've found a way that I might be able to finish in one more semester (basically by overloading myself next semester). But I know I can survive one more semester -- two is questionable. The other option would be finishing all but one class....which would mean I could get a real job come May, and just leave a bit early one day a week the following semester, which I also think is feasible.

Yup. That's what's going on in my life.

Flirtation?

2005-09-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time, I felt Friday as if I were being hit on. I had MUCHO computer problems trying to get my computer to interface with the so-called "smart clasrooms." on campus Various men in the ITS department spent a total of about 5 hours on my computer before they threw in the towel, finally determining after about 5 hours that it was either my drivers that needed fixing or its just that the resolution my computer is putting out is too high for the projectors. Whatever. It’s still not fixed.

Anyway, the head of the ITS department seemed to find me attractive. Not only did he offer to lend me his laptop for the class period (which they just “don’t do,” but provided me with all of his information. Then when his computer couldn’t interface with the projector (this time the kid had brought me a bum projector) he showed up at my final class period and assured me he could pick up his computer from my office on Monday instead of me taking it back to his office before I left campus.

I was good, and didn’t encourage the flirtation, though. Aside from the fact that I’m due to get married and a little flirting could never turn my head at this point, the guy was incredibly short, and I just never liked short men. However, it did make me feel good – a little reassurance in that area is always welcome since it comes so rarely – Working on a campus with tiny, pert 18 year olds in skirts that almost show their you-know-what rarely makes me feel like more than an old, unattractive hag.

Microsoft Blows

2005-09-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

I attempt to use non-microsoft products whenever possible. Most non-microsoft products are good about integrating conversion software into what they produce and sell. However, microsoft does not do the same. This drives me insane, especially when I can't get my computer to interface with the school's system to show pictures/presentations to the students (I use a program made by corel (much better btw, but similar to powerpoint).

I also learned today that you cannot install windows updates unless you access the site through IE. Which means I can't just delete the irritating software from my computer unless I can find a different (and cheap/free) OS that I can use in place of windows.

Damn monopolies. Feel free to add to my list. I'm sure it's in no way comprehensive, just the two things that are irritating me right now!

Trying to face the Truth

2005-09-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to face the truth and stop being in denial. Ever since my return from the Peace Corps, I have noticed (and failed to do anything about) the following things:

1. I have BAD time management skills. I'm not sure what did it, but something about life in the PC screwed up my time management skills. The unpredictability of life made it difficult to plan/arrange/manage/structure anything, and I think along the way, I kind of gave up, realized that I'd be late/unprepared some (many) times and I started going with the flow. Going with the flow does not work in America, where successful people micromanage their day to fit everything in. I feel chaotic and spastic, maybe because things don't "flow" here. The break between classes does not flow into a tea break that may or may not eat a few of your teaching minutes from the next class. Busses do not break down on the way to class, thus giving me an excuse if I was already 5 mintues late because I had to finish hand-washing my laundry or the trolley bus just didn't come. I'm not sure yet if my lack of time management means I have too much or too little on my plate. I know that what I do have feels like a giant load because I can't seem to ever get things done because I'm screwing around doing other things.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to come up with a daily routine that works for me. Even if I feel dumb mapping out a rubric with a daily schedule on it, I need to find a schedule that does not involve me getting distracted in the middle of grading papers to play 2 hours of Spider Solitaire. One that does not involve me forgetting to do two weeks of Spanish homework or a few hours watching "Montel" and "Cops" before going to class in the morning (thank god I don't have cable, it would be worse!).

2. I have a problem with my weight. (And this is really hard to admit, even in blogland). I am not obese, but I am overweight. I am unhappy where I am, and yet feel too safe to do anything about it. My weight is a sensitive subject for me, and always has been. I would like to lose 40-50 pounds, and I won't do it by occasionally going to Yoga and occasionally refusing cake or a piece of chocolate. It is hard for me to admit that I was more motivated by the fear of losing an a****** boyfriend in college than I am by the threat of diabetes or the prospect of wedding photos/swimsuit on honeymoon. I know that this is a product of my screwed up mental state and possibly the way I was raised (oh yes, and the fact that every kind of food tastes absolutely wonderful!). I'm thinking of seeing a therapist, because I'm not so sure that I can get through all that muck on my own.

Conclusion: I need to be religious about exercising. I need to somehow get a lobotomy and think of lettuce as the perfect food and sugar/carbs as the root of all evil.

I think two problems are enough for me to work on this month. Once I have the two down, I might be able to work in another thing or two.

Day of the Goofy Quizzes

2005-08-31T16:24:00.000-07:00

Here's another one:

I am: PURE NERD

(78% Nerd, 39% Geek, 43% Dork)

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

Take the test

Sex Toys Quiz

2005-08-31T16:20:00.000-07:00

Apparently, "This doesn't mean I'm greedy, just that I have something to share."

Take the The Sex Toys Quiz!

The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back

2005-08-31T07:38:00.000-07:00

I've been contemplating quitting grad school -- seriously contemplating the reasons for and against for about 2 months now. However, I couldn't commit to quitting right before the semester started for several reasons, and then it became "too late" because the department was counting on me to teach a class, and all those students in the class were counting on the class actually being offered. In short, I put other people's needs and expectations before my own, and, as usual, considered them more important than my own.

Now I'm 1.5 weeks into the semester, and positive that I want to leave it all behind, and I'm still afraid that leaving makes me a quitter, and means that I failed, regardless of the fact that my grades are irreproachable, and that I was asked to come back to the department for a second year.

All that aside, a series of events yesterday have given me (I think) the courage to finally leave, though I may have to wait til the end of the semester.

Yesterday, I'm sailing along in a bad mood (woke up in one, maybe I had a premonition of the events to come) when I get an email from the secretary in one of the departments I'm affiliated with (Kind of difficult to explain, but my degree comes from the Comparative Lit department, and since I'm on the Russian track, I'm working in the Russian department). She tells me that I shouldn't be registered for the class I'm taking in the Russ. dept. because it doesn't qualify for our graduation requirements, so I need to drop it. My first thoughts are:
1. Why is this dysfunctional woman sticking her nose in my business? Can't I take any class I want?
2. I had been assured by the R.D. that the class did, indeed qualify. It was just a matter of doing the correct paperwork at the end of the semester.

Investigation into the problem tells me that she is right. Someone didn't finish the paperwork 2 years ago to qualify all the Russian classes for graduate credit. Basically, this means a good amount of the work I've done so far DOESN'T COUNT (at least one, possibly two classes). And neither will the class I'm taking this semester if I don't turn in an "Independent Study" form (For a REAL class!!!) by the end of today. Now here's the real rub: We're only allowed to have two independent studies on our transcript -- and I'm required to have 5 Russian classes for the Russian track. If I now have none, and none of them qualify for graduate credit since someone dropped the ball on the paperwork, where does that leave me if I have to complete them all via independent study?

I realize that there are probably ways around this problem, and that it will all be fine if I take on an unspecified amount of paperwork. But since I have pretty much decided not to take on the PhD, I'm stuck here wondering why I should stress myself out for two more years, spend more money, go into deeper debt (which is happening despite the scholarship and measley stipend) for a degree that will get me....what? A few letters behind my name? Not sure if those two letters are worth dealing on a daily basis with not one, but TWO really disorganized departments...

Good Enough

2005-08-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Ever since returning from Russia, I've experienced a strange sort of reverse culture shock, a depressing feeling I couldn't put my finger on until last night. At first I attributed this tired, worn-out feeling to Jet Lag, and then my depression on returning to school, which I haven't really wanted to do. Then perhaps to the fact that I sometimes feel as if I'm not going anywhere with my life.

But yesterday, I realized that I have somewhat given up on my idealism, and I realized why Americans are always satisfied with "good enough" rather than going for something more in terms of social issues. It's just so easy to say to yourself, "Well, things could be better, but this is 'good enough.'" I've realized that I'm willing to give up some of my long-held dreams for that feeling of "good enough." I would love to quit school, find a decent-paying job, which combined with my fiance's would allow us to buy a house, and settle into an easy[ier] lifestyle. It would allow us to reduce our bills, have a dog, eventually a kid....and allow us to pretend, like so much of America does, that there's not much going on outside our window/hometown/state/country.

I'm not sure what exactly has brought about this change. What happened to my goals of changing the world one person at a time? Am I just mature enough now that I understand it probably won't change from one person's work, and I'm already tired of fighting against the crowd to get where I want to go? Or is it that I've let myself get too tied down, too involved with life on a personal level to want to affect change for anyone other than my close circle? Was I right in my youth when I believed that this is what happens when people grow up and get married? More importantly, how do I find that old feeling of idealism, the feeling that I CAN make changes, and that even small changes can be revolutionary?

Resurrecting the Blog

2005-08-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

After a small haitus posting on the other blog, I'm back (I think). I start my second year of grad school today, and I must say, I'm not really looking forward to it. First of all: this means I must leave the house. It's so much easier to pretend that I'm not feeling a tiny bit of reverse culture shock if I don't leave my little sanctuary. Second: I must face how little I've actually done this summer in the way of reading, writing, thinking about my degree. And Third: It means another semester of hard work and forced harmony with people who are not all that cool.

The question is, Why am I doing this to myself?

Masturbating Cats

2005-06-30T04:38:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else know that cats masturbate?

Bizzare question, yes, I know. Apparently, they do, though. My host family has a cat that does it several times a day, with a fuzzy hankerchief.

Wierd.

Something Interesting

2005-06-15T04:46:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I can't look at Shannon's blog from this Hotel business center in D.C. because it contains too much adult or controversial content.

And we thought it was only Russia that monitored her people so well.

Protecting the Guilty

2005-06-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

In order to protect the guilty (me) I will be posting my travel adventures in Russia on a completely independent blog, one that will not incriminate me, should curious family members or co-workers choose to peruse further than the adventures.

This means that you can catch up on all my happenings for the next few months at my other blog, but I may still write things here.

What Friendship Means to Me

2005-06-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

My views on friendship have always been somewhat rigid. Ever since I can remember, I've held my friends to a high standard, and I have consciously pushed people out of my life for not conforming to my high ideals.

There is a big difference in my mind between a friend and an aquaintance. Perhaps I never acknowledged this difference before I went to Russia (where they verbally designate their friends/aquaintances, etc. , and nobody gets offended if they fall into the latter category) but I think it was always there for me.

Aquaintances are people you see once in a while. People you like to spend time with, invite to parties. People you are happy to see and have a pleasant time with when you see them -- be it once a week or once a year. But they are not people you would necessarily share your secrets with (maybe the fun, happy, juicy secrets -- like a secret crush!) but not the life-altering secrets that could get you fired from work, or one that might hurt a loved one if it was leaked to the wrong third party. Aquaintances might spill your secrets, gossip about you to their friends. But friends understand how much you'd be hurt, and keep your secrets like they are your own.

Aquaintances will come to every party, and be there to share every happy event. They will celebrate your wedding, celebrate the birth of your children, or take a ride in your new car. They will offer sympathy when a friend or loved one passes away. But they are not the person you call when your car breaks down at 2:00 in the morning on a freeway an hour from town. They are not the first person you call to break the good news to, though you eventually do. And Aquaintances certainly aren't the people that you'd lay around in your pajamas with, whether you're nursing a humongous hangover or eating chocolate ice cream and discussing past, present and future heartaches.

It's your friends who do that. Barring their own catastrophic event, or incidental location several hundred (or thousand) miles away, they will be there to share your life -- be it to celebrate good times or help you through the bad.

I think one of the keys to a good relationship is having good give and take. Relationships become strained if one person is always on the take, while another is always giving, be it support, free babysitting, or whatever. Even if the other person gives only appreciation, it keeps the flow more equal.

That's my rant. A close friend has been irritating me -- I feel that she's not living up to her end of the bargain. Perhaps I'm being too harsh, but it seems a long time since I've been able to either celebrate with her or feel that I have a support system. Am I being too harsh? Are my "guidelines" for friendship too rigid?

Russia Certainly Does

2005-06-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

Make it funny....

For Example:
The first transexual dog?
Suicidal Chickens?

The whole site is a wealth of time-wasting, wierd material.

Wow

2005-06-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

My favorite quote for today: "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up...."

Isn't bureaucracy wonderful?

102 things about me

2005-06-06T13:07:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Shannon, I decided to make my own list....

1. I am already almost packed for my trip to Russia, even though I don't leave for another week.
2. I like planning things.
3. Sometimes more than actually doing them.
4. I believe this would make me a good manager.
5. I love technology.
6. As a result, I check my email too often.
7. I love my new computer because it is sleek and cute.
8. I drink 3-4 Nalgene bottles full of water every day (32 oz. size).
9. I am always thirsty even though I do that.
10. If I could, I would live on macaroni and cheese and chocolate cake.
11. I think it's the low carb diet that made me say that.
12. Because I love all food.
13. Except Holodets and Sala.
14. Yes, even beets and Brussel Sprouts.
15. I am in love and would do anything for Chris.
16. Maybe even stay home from my trip to Russia.
17. But I love him even more because he would never ask me to.
18. I cried when he asked me to marry him.
19. I have been to 12 countries other than the US.
20. I wish I spoke that many languages.
21. I feel guilty when charities send out those address label stickers in an effort to get you to contribute.
22. Especially when I don't have the money to send in a real donation.
23. I would love to visit every country in the world.
24. I wish I could win the lottery.
25. Because a part of me doesn't want to be responsible.
26. I still feel guilty about things I did, even some things 20 years ago.
27. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
28. I don't have many female friends.
29. But the ones I do have I'm close to.
30. I take friendship seriously and get offended by those who don't have the same attitude.
31. I procrastinate a lot.
32. I could get much more done if I would be more focused.
33. I love to sew.
34. And embroider.
35. Although I consider myself a Feminist, I also wouldn't mind being a housewife.
36. I would probably eat bon-bons all day.
37. I hate gardening.
38. But I love gardens and flowers.
39. I'm allergic to animals.
40. But I would love to have several pets.
41. I had a rat once.
42. Her name was Templeton (yes, from Charlotte's Web)
43. I cried when she died.
44. Now I have a fish named Mojo.
45. I taught the fish how to jump for his dinner.
46. I love yoga.
47. But sometimes I don't go because I'm lazy.
48. I like the sound my bones make when my back/hips/fingers/knees, etc. Pop.
49. I would consider moving to another country again.
50. But only if my fiance moved with me.
51. Maybe even short-term if he didn't want to.
52. I am not religious
53. But consider myself spiritual.
54. I can multitask.
55. Even conversationally, which drives some people crazy.
56. I have a great memory for vocabulary.
57. But a bad memory for names.
58. I have a hard time throwing things away.
59. I own a lot of books I've never read.
60. Even though I love to read.
61. I once wanted to be a marine biologist/animal behaviorist.
62. But I didn't like taking calculus classes.
63. That's ok, because I love teaching.
64. But when I teach the Univ. students, I worry that they're paying attention to my clothes, hair, etc.
65. I never used to worry about that with my ESL students.
66. I learned a lot about myself in Peace Corps.
67. I support gay rights.
68. But I'm a closet bisexual, except to those very close to me.
69. And still consider myself one, even in a heterosexual relationship.
70. I'm afraid most people won't understand.
71. Because I think too many bi girls do it for the attention.
72. I'm lactose intolerant.
73. But I love dairy products, especially cheese and ice cream.
74. But I hate the taste of milk.
75. I like dancing to cheesy 80s music and Europop, but I don't listen to them otherwise.
76. I like squirrels.
77. Watching the real news before I go to bed makes me angry.
78. So I watch a trashy tabloid-news program instead.
79. I have only stayed up all night once in my life.
80. I get crabby when I don't eat on time.
81. I'm afraid I'll get diabetes.
82. I would like to be more politically involved.
83. I would like to volunteer more.
84. But I don't have enough free time, bringing me back to #31 and 32.
85. I constantly question my fashion sense.
86. I still value a complement given to me in high school by one of the popular guys at school, but only because he was really a sweet guy.
87. I think I have a good sense of who a person is when I meet them -- my first impressions form my opinion.
88. Occasionally my "radar" is wrong, but not often.
89. I wonder if I am too judgemental.
90. I would like to streamline my life and live a simple life.
91. But I would also like to have everything.
92. Sometimes I am ashamed of my consumerist tendencies.
93. I like to sing in the shower.
94. Green is my favorite color.
95. But I also like Red and Pink.
96. I collect (jewelry) boxes and other things with lids.
97. I love to give and receive gifts.
98. I don't always know how to act when someone treats me nicely.
99. I hate doing laundry.
100. It's time for me to go to Yoga.
101. I feel like the last thing needs to be profound.
102. But all I can think about is the big Russian map on my wall in front of me.

A Fun Weekend!

2005-05-23T11:25:00.000-07:00

My Friend Shannon came to visit this weekend from Las Vegas and we had a ton of fun -- including getting stuck in a cattle drive in Boulder (not a cow town...) and some scenic driving/hiking in the mountains...

Too bad she had to go home!

2005-05-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

Shannon and I on the Peak-To-Peak highway -- Long's Peak in the background!

2005-05-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

Calf foaming at the mouth!

Weddings

2005-05-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

Chris and I went to his brother's wedding this weekend. It was an eye-opening experience. Weddings have been on my mind a lot lately, partially because this wedding has gotten us both thinking...he brings up things like, "When we do this..." and so have I.

My mind being thus oriented, I couldn't help but calculate everything in my head. The wedding was very simple, but everyone seemed so frazzled and worn-out. The bride warned me more than once not to have a wedding. Her mother told me to hire a wedding planner. I kept seeing piles of dollar signs everywhere I looked, and although it seemed "simple" I figured that it probably still cost around $8,000 or so, although I know that there were some things they did get for free.

Maybe I'll just elope!

Anyway, I got to help decorate the cake. Maybe I have a future in wedding cake decoration -- check it out:

2005-05-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

Wedding Cake

Finally Finished? (sort of)

2005-05-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

I just printed out my final paper for the semester. I was so tired of it by the time I finished that I don't even know if I missed errors my last run through or not. Sometimes I don't know if I really belong in Grad School, but I guess I will just go along with it for a while longer....

Insomnia Strikes Again

2005-04-24T02:05:00.000-07:00

An Eventful day, to be sure. I inadvertently spilled water on my laptop keyboard and now my computer a) makes a slight buzzing noise that it didn't make before and b) my backspace key doesn't work (note to self: Keys on laptops are NOT removable like they are on regular keyboards for easy cleanup). Fun. Getting to know the delete key much better, I must say.

So, I'm laying in bed, in the dark, thinking (as one generally does when one has insomnia, before one gives up and gets up) and I realized that It's been precisely a month since my last bout. I don't think its a coincidence. I checked the midol downstairs, and each pill contains about 60 MG of caffeine. I've nibbled (ok, swallowed) about 4 of those puppies today. Boy does it help with cramps, but I'm not sure this insomnia stuff is helping me all that much.

So what better to do at 3 in the morning? I looked up caffeine to see how much affects you, and found the following:

Caffeine-Induced Organic Mental Disorder -- 305.90 Caffeine Intoxication includes (According to the American Psychiatric Association)
1. Recent consumption of caffeine, usually in excess of 250 mg.
2. At least five of the following signs:
restlessness
nervousness
excitement
insomnia
flushed face
diuresis
gastrointestinal disturbance
muscle twitching
rambling flow of thought and speech
tachycardia or cardiac arrhythmia
periods of inexhaustibility
psychomotor agitation
3. Not due to any physical or other mental disorder, such as an Anxiety Disorder.

Yup, that's what I have. A Caffeine Induced Mental Disorder. This is much more fun to say than just admitting that I have insomnia.

Mystery solved. Now I just need to figure out what to replace the midol with next month. Any Suggestions? (I do realize its better to do without the painkillers -- but sometimes its unavoidable, such as when one has to write a 20 page paper and can't spend the day in bed).

Househunting

2005-04-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

We went househunting yesterday. It was an interesting experience. Tiring, yet fun. Scary, yet exciting. I think we looked at 8, and only about 2 of them were so bad we just left right away. There's one I'm kind of attached to already -- (eek) even though we're so early in the process there's a good chance we wouldn't get it -- cute little place built in 1910 -- about halfway through the renovation process, so there's still a lot to get done. However, it's also one of those houses that is in a good neighborhood, so with the right improvements, it would appreciate in value...

House hunting is definitely a distracting activity. I keep thinking about different things to do with those different houses.

The Gift-Buying Begins (Need Ideas!)

2005-04-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

I leave for Moscow in 2 months and I'm faced with the following dillema: What to buy for friends and as-yet unknown host family. I have no information about the new host family and don't want to make poor choices.

This is what I've purchased so far:
- A bottle of Tequila (for a friend who loves it)
- Two sets of matching lipstick case/keychain with photo clip and mirror attached in fun colors (What Russian woman doesn't need a lipstick case and mirror in her purse?) These can either be given to random Russians or friends I already have.

Planned Purchases:
- A few small boxes of Godiva chocolate (also a good "extra" gift in case someone shows up I hadn't planned on seeing)
- Baby Blanket/toys for friends who are having their first baby this May (waiting to know the sex)

I need some ideas for fun, cheap presents -- and I'm trying to avoid boring things like calendars or keychains that say "Colorado" (although I've noticed that Russians really like the shot glasses that say things on them). Anybody got any ideas?

Blizzard!

2005-04-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

Yay! Blizzard! We already have 3 of the expected 8-15 inches!

I hope we get a snow day...

Why Didn't Our Parents Tell Us That Being Grown Up Is Wierd?

2005-04-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling really "grown up" lately. Being Responsible, that kind of thing. My S.O. and I started seriously talking about buying a house last night. It’s thrilling and scary at the same time. I love the idea of having a yard, and a dog and our very own place that we can "fix up." There’s something wonderful about having your own piece of earth. Something I realize not everyone on this planet is privileged enough to have, but its something that (I think) makes most people feel good. A house is an achievement. It proves something on a certain level, doesn’t it? But it also signals to me a commitment to material things.

This place we looked at last night, the one that started everything, is next door to my S.O.’s cousin. In the mountains, 2-3 acres of land, hot tub. Apparently its for rent at an affordable rate for the two of us, and we could see about the option to buy later on. Gorgeous house – everything I’ve ever wanted – hardwood floors, fireplace, gi-NORmous (you must properly inflect this word) deck. Perfect party house, perfect house for hiding out in the mountains. In a great, undeveloped area – which needs a coffee shop – something I’ve been wanting to open.
This all throws into relief the problems I’ve been having with my path lately. Do I want to finish Grad School? The answer is YES, but there’s this nagging voice telling me that I shouldn’t waste my time if I’m going to end up doing something else. The question then becomes, "Do I want to Teach?" To which I don’t have a very good answer. Maybe. Yes, sometimes. No, sometimes. Why do these other ideas keep occurring to me? Why do they pop up whenever I’m confronted with a big project. Am I being escapist? Am I truly feeling the pull of something that will make me happy? Or am I ultimately just confused about what I want?

I think it’s all a lie. They ask you, when you’re little, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" As if one day you suddenly know. I’m convinced that some of us never figure it out. And many of us are stuck doing things that we don’t want to do, even if we do figure it out. Why is the right answer never, "Travel the world and learn about everything there is..."? And does anyone want to hire me for that job?

Water Issues

2005-04-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

We came home last night to no water. My first instinct was to just ignore the problem. I thought, "This is America. There must be a water-main break somewhere, and it will probably be fixed by morning." However, I did call my dad and have him tell me where to go to make sure it wasn't an internal problem. Satisfied that my house wasn't flooding and there was no way to get in touch with the water people, I went to sleep.

This morning -- again no water. Irritating. Finally the guy at the water treatment plant (or whoever I talked to after calling the city and getting transferred to several places) tells me there's no water main break, and (of course) asks me if I'm behind on my bills. I reassure him that I owe the city $20 next week, but otherwise, I'm paid in full. The check for that bill is actually already sitting on the counter downstairs ready to be mailed. He's stumped, as am I, and says that sometimes in old neighborhoods, two houses, or even more commonly, two units, can be hooked on the same pipe -- so I would be turned off if my neighbor was somehow unable to pay their bill.

Wonderful! In Russia, I probably would have accepted this and just gone without a shower. However, here, it drives me nuts and makes me angry. (Not to mention the fact that my students will probably cruicify me if I come in dirty and smelly for one day). What a spoiled world we live in.

Taking Responsibility for Your Animals

2005-04-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

I have a complaint. Since there's no appropriate place to air it, I figured I'd blog it to get it off my chest.

We have a new neighbor, who has just "downgraded" her house after her kids moved out and she was left alone. We live in a townhouse, the kind with the fenced in porch, but no yard to speak of. The porch is (maybe) twice the size of your average apartment balcony -- 8 feet by 8 feet, give or take a little. Her porch is directly below our bedroom window, and it now contains two large dogs (not sure of the breeds, but lab-ish in size -- 50/60 pounds).

The two dogs now bark constantly, in their little concrete prison. They bark at squirrels. They bark at kids playing in the greenbelt. They bark at people who come to the mailbox (the community mailbox is located between our two houses). And, I'm convinced, they bark because they're neglected. Never once in the month she's lived there have I seen the woman who lives next door take her dogs for a walk. I'm home most of the day, get up early, and hear the dogs barking when I go to bed. Although she doesn't work, intuition and her behavior towards the animals (not to mention my weekend schedule keeps me at home in my office where I unfortunately have a nice view of the porch) is telling me she's not taking those dogs out mid-afternoon while I'm at school. They eat, sleep and (I'm assuming) shit on that porch. I have never seen her go outside to pet the dogs. Nor have I heard anything at all directed to them other than "Shut Up!"

The primary reason I have not gotten a pet myself is that I don't feel I have the time to take care of a pet. I would love to come home to some bouncing, furry animal, squirming with happiness to see me. However, I recognize that my desires are not necessarily the most important ones right now. Animals require the same things we do: Exercise, food, love. Although I know I could feed and love an animal, she wouldn't have enough space on our porch. And since a dog can't take herself for a walk, and I don't have time to take her on a minimum of two walks a day, I know I can't meet one of those needs right now. Failing to give your animals an opportunity to move/run/walk at least once a day (other than circling your patio furniture) is reprehensible.

I keep thinking that if the dogs got out for a walk once in a while, maybe they wouldn't bark all the f'n time!

Return to the Motherland

2005-04-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

After two and a half long years, I finally have the opportunity to return to Russia. FULL scholarship with a stipend to a 6 week language program in Moscow.

I'm tickled pink!

TGIF

2005-04-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

That's all I have to say, really.

I'm tired, worn out, and ready for a few days without students.

Movie Recommendation

2005-03-31T07:17:00.000-08:00

How travel changes your life and molds who you are....

Interested? You must see The Motorcycle Diaries. I won't say anything more about it, because I don't want to ruin the ending!

Hypocrites

2005-03-30T17:56:00.000-08:00

I saw the greatest of all hypocrites on the road today and had to share it with everyone.

In Colorado, we have special license plates that you can get for a few extra dollars. They are purple instead of green, and have our state flower (Columbine) on it. Underneath the flower, it says "Respect Life." They're pretty common.

Today, I saw one on a giant Suburban. Bad enough, right -- hypocritical from an environmental standpoint. Worse yet, there was a bumper sticker next to it that said "Friends don't let friends be Homos."

I don't even know where to begin with that one! All I know is that it makes me extremely angry. Do people not see the contradictions in what they say/do?

You Know When You've Re-Acculturated When...

2005-03-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

The bus comes by and you wait for the next one because it's too full.

Any good group of Russian students would have tried to cram at least 20 more people on there....

Mojo Risin'

2005-03-27T07:13:00.000-08:00

I wanted a pet, but we don't have time for a dog, so we have a new fish - a Betta. His name is Mojo. Very cool and happy in his former-terrarium-turned-psychadelic-fishbowl. The terrarium sides are bulbous and they maginify him in a clown-like way. He loves it in there -- not sure if it is the strange bowl sides or if he's just a responsive fish....but he loves to come and look at you when you stand by the fishbowl.

Yay, Mojo!

Insomnia Sucks

2005-03-26T22:12:00.000-08:00

I'm cold and sitting in my office -- my S.O. has been asleep for at least an hour. Didn't want to bother him so I got up and am trying to (quietly) putter around the house... There's nothing worse than trying to lay still in bed so as not to disturb your partner when you can't sleep.

I think I can't sleep because of stress. I have felt unhappy with myself for several days. My schedule lately has not allowed me the time to work out, and I think I'm gaining back the weight I've tried so hard to lose. Controlling my weight is so hard. I swear one "bad" meal a week makes the number on the scale creep up.

I want to get thinner for my health, and for the most part, that motivates me. But whenever the numbers start to rise, I have horrible dreams spurred on by evil ex-boyfriends that left me because of a few extra pounds. I know this relationship is different -- everything about it has proved that to me. But there's that voice inside my head that just doesn't shut up, the one that says, "He'll leave you if you don't get thinner..."

I recently saw a daytime talk show (Probably Montel...?) where they had an expert on relationships (bad ones). The lady said something that felt like an epiphany when I heard it: "Women in abusive relationships become obsessed with proving that they are good enough for the partner that emotionally abuses them." I know that was me 7 years ago. Emotionally abused and brainwashed. Everything became about proving I was good enough. Took me forever to get that drive out of my head and become happy with who I was. My current relationship has surpassed anything that I have ever felt, but I think that sometimes the seriousness of it pushes those old buttons and I feel like I have to prove how much I deserve my happiness. Little things like getting my hair cut in a similar way (which I did on Friday) can send me back into that cycle. Why can't I get that horrible voice out of my head? It hurts me that it still has power when I want so badly for it to be gone forever so I can enjoy what I now have.

Protect Your Pet from the Government!

2005-03-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

My friend Dale sent me this link, aiding me in the procrastination game:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1467&item=5566794941&rd=1

Thus proving that there are many people WAY more creative than I am with much too much free time on their hands.

Procrastination

2005-03-24T08:23:00.000-08:00

I am a master procrastinator. I am motivated by deadlines and (it appears) nothing else.

Spring break has allowed me to relax, and although I had all sorts of plans for getting ahead so that I wouldn't constantly be squeaking by each and every deadline, I'm really not as far ahead as I'd like to be.

I think someone needs to shut me into a white room with white walls and nothing but my books. Then maybe I'd get some work done.

Although I might just end up coloring on the walls to make them more interesting....

Three Things

2005-03-22T15:25:00.000-08:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Karla
2. Karlita
3. Karlochka
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Koolaid
2. Karla_allison
3. Karlita
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Intelligence
2. Friendliness
3. my hands
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1.French
2.German
3.English
(Can you say ghoulishly white skin that turns red at the slightest hint of sunshine?)
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Heights
2. Failure
3. Boredom
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Water!!!
2. Yoga
3. Chris
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Green velvet pajama pants
2. Grey Tshirt
3. Frog socks
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. B-2
2. Sarah McLachlan
3. Tori Amos
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Eating a better diet
2. Hang Gliding (always wanted to try, but not sure if it will be in the next year)
3. Thinking of more fun things to try
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Honesty
2. Steamy Sex
3. Laughter
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I love Law and Order
2. Aliens drained my imagination when they kidnaped me last night.
3. My 10 year High School Reunion is this summer.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Butt
2. Eyes
3. Smile
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Ride a bike
2. Walk on the cieling
3. Teleport
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading
2. Yoga
3. Sewing
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Sleep
2. Eat Donuts
3. Get a dog
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. English Teacher
2. Yoga Teacher/studio owner
3. Lit. Teacher
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Russia
2. Costa Rica
3. Belize
(This one’s easy, can I have 3 more?)
THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Kassandra Leigh
2. Victoria Alene
3. Mark Allen
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Speak Russian
2. See more of the world
3. Win the lottery

Your Turn!

Commonly Confused Words

2005-03-22T14:18:00.000-08:00

I received an "Exceptional" score of Advanced on The Commonly Confused Words Test

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14457200288064322170

Try it, see how you do!

Damn my Rotten Luck!

2005-03-22T08:17:00.000-08:00

My luck stinks! It's finally Spring Break, and I'm stuck inside with a horrible virus my S.O. brought home from work this weekend.

So much for getting ahead on my work...It's all I can do to keep my eyes open!

Cats Galore!

2005-03-21T13:21:00.000-08:00

If you like cats, or just find yourself with a lack of funny/wierd things to look at on the internet, here's 15 minutes of entertainment!

http://www.amazingcatcollection.com

The things people do to their animals....

Strange Officemates, Part II

2005-03-03T16:57:00.000-08:00

Things get wierder and wierder...

My two officemates, (Who I shall call G and M), never cease to be entertaining. Allow me to explain: As we all share the office, we all share a key to the copy room, which is to be kept in the drawer of the computer desk.

I went in this weekend to do some work, and the key to the copy room was missing. I searched high and low -- even opening drawers designated as "not mine," just peeking around for the key. We've had this issue before, and the culprit is generally M (who, we established in the previous post, does not know how to share). I sent out a short, irritated, yet still polite email, annoyed that I'd driven the thirty minutes to work, only to find out I couldn't do the work I had come to do.

G answered, repyling that she'd had the same problem the previous weekend, but would help me look. No response from M. Yesterday, she tells me that the key was found in the correct drawer, in the empty paperclip box.

Now I know this is not true because I a) picked up that box and b) opened it. Inside were only a few golf-sized pencils. The box is neither big enough nor was it heavy enough for a key to have been hiding in the folds of the box. I told her this, and she was silent for a while. Then blurted out a "well, that's where we found it!"

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Why must people lie? Just tell the f'n truth, apologize for taking it home on accident, and get on with your freakin life.

Strange Officemates

2005-02-25T16:06:00.000-08:00

I share an office with two other people. As a teacher, it works out ok -- most of the time I'm in there alone. And even if all of us are in there, there are, in fact, three desks (though only one internet connection). In short, it's small, but I've shared similar spaces with many more teachers and its easy to get along if you can share.

The officemate I see the most often has to be one of the strangest people ever. I understand the need for occasional peace and quiet in the office, but she sometimes takes it to the extreme, storming out if there are too many people in the office, or slamming the door with an impatient sigh when students walk down the hall conversing.

So today I was talking with a student at my desk about an assignment when she came to the office. Without even coming in, or asking how long we would be, she got huffy and immediately left, indicating with her attitude (and her "I guess I'll just go somewhere else") that she clearly couldn't work if we were there.

Wierd.

Book Recommendation of the Month

2005-02-16T18:51:00.000-08:00

You must read The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera.

Quick, amazing read, especially for those of us to ties with Post-communist countries.

A Teacher's Complaint

2005-02-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

As a teacher, it is so fulfilling to ignite the spark of interest in your students.

However, one of the things I've noticed in the course of teaching at both a University and at a Non-Profit is that most American students don't seem to care about knowledge. The ESL students, on the other hand, (who pay only 20 dollars for 6 months of study) work as hard as they can to understand, and even when they don't, they are genuinely interested in learning things about the countries that their classmates come from. Its so refreshing to feel a part of a communal environment like that.

My college students seem more interested in getting drunk and/or laid than they do about learning anything about the world. This semester, I'm teaching one of the more interesting courses at the University (Fairy Tales of Russia). Granted, it's a fluff course, and the students expect it to be easy, but interesting. That's why most of them profess to be taking the course. Perhaps that's why it's so frustrating to see more than half of them get Ds and Fs. Especially when I thought they were at least halfway interested in the course....

Mangled (but wonderful) English

2005-02-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

I had to quit my second job teaching ESL for a local nonprofit because Grad School is not kind to my schedule. It was sad, because of the two jobs, it was definitely the most rewarding. However, it also paid the least and required a 2 hour commute each day. Yesterday was my last day teaching...

My students gave me a card, which they wrote themselves:

"We all very sad to party with you
We went that you will be teacher always
because you was born as teacher.
We will be remember to you althout
our meet was such short.
Good luck in your life!"

Not only does this card have the distinction of being the only card which indicates that partying with me is a sad occasion, but also gives me great pride in their growing abilities. Witness the last, error-free sentence!

Happy Groundhog Day!

2005-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

Groundhogs are wonderfully cute little animals. There was a giant fat one on USA Today this morning.

However, I am somewhat skeptical about the poor creature's forecasting ability.

Why Freud is an Idiot...

2005-01-31T19:15:00.000-08:00

I should be doing my homework right now, but I'd rather share with you a wonderful quote from the "Father" of psychoanalysis...

"Very different is the effect of the castration complex on the girl. She acknowledges the fact of her castration, the consequent superiority of the male and her own inferiority, but she also rebels agains these unpleasant facts. So divided in her mind, she may follow one of three lines of development..."

He goes on to state the three lines of development:
1. frigidity (no sexual drive whatsoever)
2. Overt masculinity which may or may not lead to lesbian tendencies (all because she is so sexually attracted to her mother)
or 3. a normal development, which means taking "her father as love-object"

Wow. What more can I say?

Are donuts part of the South Beach Diet?

2005-01-30T07:58:00.000-08:00

Somehow, I don't think so....yet, here I sit, eating a donut bigger than my head.

Damn, it tastes good, though!

Simulacra

2005-01-29T13:06:00.000-08:00

In an exercise in post-modernity, I decided to create for myself a means by which other humans can communicate with a representation of myself.

How Exciting!